lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
