I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
