Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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