i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
