Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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