woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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