Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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