why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She is in my trunk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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