I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
