we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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