she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
