He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
sex in a hospital.. check
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
