I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
