I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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