come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Randomize
