I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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