I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
