We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
