My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i believe in u and ur pee
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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