It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
