I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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