I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
