i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
