well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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