i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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