yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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