On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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