Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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