All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
