i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
operation have a gay friend backfired
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
