My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
