Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
