I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
