Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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