It's just like the Real World with babies
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize