last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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