Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hippo gnu deer
I just found a bag of teeth...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
