Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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