I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Randomize
