He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
