even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
