No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
