Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Actions speak louder than pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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