I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
