I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
