I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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