Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were trust falling into bushes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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