U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
