she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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