those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Of course I have a pirate flag
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
